As you prepare for your divorce in State College, you may be wondering how it will affect your children. You did not plan for your marriage to come to an end and feel heartbroken that you cannot provide your kids with the type of family life you had envisioned for them.
You may no longer be in love with their other parent, but that does not mean you cannot take measures to keep the kids out of the conflict and turmoil that is going on. Here are some ways you can keep your children from getting involved in your divorce drama.
Do not complain in front of your kids
You may not feel too happy with your spouse and become angry at the thought of her or him. Do not let your emotions cause you to say mean and inappropriate things about your children’s other parent in front of them and while they are within listening range. You want them to have a healthy love and respect for both of their parents. Badmouthing the other parent to make yourself look and feel better can backfire and cause your kids to resent you.
Your children are not messengers
Anything you have to say to their other parent, you should say yourself. Do not use your kids to send messages back and forth between you. This changes the dynamic of your relationship and can cause them to learn information they should not and expose them to negative emotions that they may reciprocate and stress over.
Keep them informed
You may feel like it is best for you to keep all information regarding your divorce from your kids. Children have ways of finding out things. They are perceptive and may have already noticed the tension and stress that exists between you and their other parent. Set aside some time to talk with them about the changes that are coming. Let them know that your decision has nothing to do with them, is not their fault, and that you both still love them and will be there for them.
You and your spouse may not be on the best of terms, but keeping your kids’ needs and well-being at the forefront of your mind can help you and the other parent shield them from the murky waters of divorce.